It is normal and human to feel hurt and angry when you have been wronged by the words or actions of another person. Sometimes, in response to a real or perceived wrongful act, a person can get stuck in those emotions. They might constantly dwell on the wrongful act and become bitter and resentful. They may seek revenge or want to retaliate in kind. They may change their behavior and stop all contact with the person who has wronged them, and if it was a family member, they might stop all family interactions, thereby hurting innocent family members. It happens. Most of us know someone caught up in hate and bitterness. Some of us might even be that guy or gal- an unforgiving person.
Unforgiveness is the opposite of living a biblically based life. Yeshua/Jesus taught forgiveness:
From the NASB
Mat 6:14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Mar 11:25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.”
Luk 11:2 And He said to them, “When you pray, say:
‘Father, hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
3 ‘Give us each day our daily bread.
4 ‘And forgive us our sins,
For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.’”
Even as Yeshua/Jesus was dying, He forgave:
Luk 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
Clearly, our ability to forgive is tied to salvation, and our God wants us to forgive others. So why is it so hard for some of us to forgive? It might be because we do not understand the act of forgiveness. We think that forgiveness means forgetting the painful actions of someone, that forgiveness it is letting a hurtful person “get away with it”, or it shows we are weak, or it makes us a victim giving in to a bully. But forgiveness is none of those things.
Scripture definitions of “forgive” include “let it go”, “put or send away”, or “lay aside”.
Forgive
G863 (Strong)
ἀφίημι
aphiēmi
From G575 and ἵημι hiēmi (to send; an intensive form of εἶμιeimi (to go)); to send forth, in various applications: – cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up.
So according to scripture, forgiveness is the action of letting go. It is a willful act, not one of emotion. It is letting go of our response to a wrong. It is an action that comes from strength, not weakness.
Forgiveness is not about the person being forgiven. It is about the person who was wronged performing a deliberate act of grace. It is patterning what Elohim/God has done for His believers. Not one of us is deserving of His forgiveness, but He has forgiven us because He is merciful, gracious, and faithful.
If you are stuck in anger and bitterness, you are the one suffering. Your victimizer doesn’t care about your feelings, they might even be glad that you are hurt. By letting go of your pain and anger, you are letting go of the control it has over you. You are not forgetting the wrong committed against you, but are choosing freedom. You are choosing to emulate Yeshua/Jesus and walk in His ways. You are choosing salvation.
Forgiveness is powerful.
Forgiveness is liberating.
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